| As I elegantly glide across the ice-rink that is | | | | who lives down my road). |
| Headingely, I can't help but notice other less elegant | | | | Momentarily warmed by this delightful fact, the dark |
| pedestrians waddling like penguins and occasionally | | | | clouds of cynicism were soon rumbling overhead |
| sliding on their backs/fronts, (presumably trying to | | | | before unleashing a searing lightning bolt of epiphanic |
| imitate penguins), as they attempt to conquer the | | | | clarity directly onto my head. Several reconstructive |
| antarctic conditions. This reminds me of a recent piece | | | | procedures and a lengthy period of bedrest later, it |
| of penguin-related trivia, passed on to me by a reliable | | | | came back to me - maybe this explains the success |
| but penguin-obsessed friend of mine, a penguiphile if | | | | of retro clothing brand, Penguin. They have cunningly |
| you will - and I hope you will, the '-phile' suffix could | | | | exploited our innate love of penguins, although |
| really do with a break. | | | | admittedly I'd rather have a closet full of well-fitting polo |
| A recent psychological study revealed that just looking | | | | shirts than a drawer crammed full with dead penguins |
| at penguins makes us simple humans happy and who | | | | - which scientists inadvertently proved, don't make |
| am I to be arguing with science? I've only got one | | | | people very happy. |
| Nobel prize and that was a long time ago; besides, I | | | | Either way, I'm not ashamed to say that I too am a |
| don't like to talk about my extensive achievements as | | | | penguiphile and I'm now orf to watch 'March of the |
| a man notoriously crippled by modesty (not to be | | | | Penguins' while eating penguin biscuits with my pet |
| confused with the notoriously crippled modest man | | | | penguin Gerard - I suggest you do the same. |